the first and the last photo about me and her

me and mom, april 1983
me and mom, april 1983

this is the first official photo of me and my mother, when we arrived home in our flat in armidale a few days after i was born. i just received a twit from my brother. saying he’s having a de ja vu with his girlfriend’s mother’s condition. like my mom, she’s struggling with cancer. they said it’s already spreading now. i took a deep breath. i’m going to call him after this post.

i just had the energy to open the family album and photos, also letters containing both of my parents. they’re both memories now. that i’m trying to get through, not very easily sometimes. often, if i have to be honest.

i had the urge to post one of the very last photo of us both together. it was taken on my mom’s last b’day, that she spent on the hospital and i was just arriving from the airport after a final exam from yogya. she lost so many weight… she was so happy that i made it coming on the day. i’m so glad i made it that time. it’s a thing that i remember and being grateful for the rest of my life.

me and mom, june 2006

this photos i kept, like the photos in my brother’s mobile phone that he kept, the photos of my parents in the hospital at their last moments of life. this things that me and my brother share for the rest of our lives.

i know, most of us we like to share some happiness. but sometimes i want to admit this kind of thing.

i’m officially missing my mother.

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