i’m typing this entry with the restraint on my muscle and drinking ginger-honey hot drink to ease some pain. i finished my fourth and fifth yoga session last monday and today made me think.
it’s amazing how five sessions alone could take you to reflect your entire life. your living pattern. your habit. your characteristic. your breath. thought there’s no magic in it. there are compassion, patient, hard work, discipline, strong heart, balance mind and lastly: belief.
i believe there’s no coincidence. i’m in a point in my life where i had the strongest urge to find a yoga teacher and now i have time, no actually, i make time. in the past, i asked 2 persons to be my yoga teacher, finding a right one is like finding a soulmate. and when i found sebastian, i felt there is a clicking sound somewhere in the universe.
i registered for 4 sessions at first. after the first session, i felt everything had put me into the ground, at that 90 minutes, there are moments where i found myself shaking my entire being. i decided to register for 8 session at the end of the first session. now i recognize that i had impulse like that when i found something that i’m looking for. i realized i had to take a slower path. regulating 4 session a month first (especially with the time, i am a single mother after all, in some points in life i had to be realistic), and might add some session in d’omah on the weekend.
thought the most exciting of this experience is that i share some session with my dearest friends. it strengthen something inside us three. i’m hoping for more future session with my dearest mates.
i took yin and yang yoga class the first two sessions. the first was grounding me. the second because the composition of the class consist mostly beginner, we start basic hatha yoga. it’s strengthening.
the third one, i took the yin yoga class, a meditative one with abmi. it was just the two of us that afternoon, so it’s more private session. it was really relaxing and giving personal insight for both of us.
i tried taking double session last monday. first the yin class and then the yin-yang class with dalih. the day after, i feel my limit, my pain, my endurance and i try to heal myself. the yin class where i did one pose that day nearly made me cry. megan, gede’s friend who also join the class also felt that urge too somehow. and when sebastian said: let go. i felt like i’m letting go my pain. the yin yang class with dalih, get me to know myself, that i like to test my endurance to pain and that i’m in some way maybe a pain addict. and i haven’t been giving time for myself to heal.
now sipping the last sip of my ginger and honey drink. i sit here. and felt my breath run through my veins. throughout my entire body. those five sessions surely teach me how to breath again. i used have a bad habit having to breath with my mouth and i don’t feel myself sometimes. now, i breath, in and out, i can feel my toes touching the ground. i amazed myself, it has been that long that i actually felt something like it. feeling my breathing.
it’s funny how abmi said that yoga is going to be my rites. it’s funny how i answer to sebastian on my second session that doing yoga for me is like being with god (whatever god is).
i hope this is one step for me to the path of dharma.
be patient with yourself.
keeping still is not easy.
om mane padme hum